Miroku's Decision
by Arimasen
Summary: Naraku escapes once again, and Miroku knows he doesn't have much time to make his decision. He knows his curse is his burden, and no one else's. So when he decides to leave, how will Sango react? Or has she... forgotten? Full summary inside!
1. Sango's Tears of Flight

Disclaimer: -- No, I do not own Inuyasha. I dream of it though… -eyes wander to ceiling-

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Full summary: Naraku escapes once again, and Miroku knows he doesn't have much time to make his decision. He knows his curse is his burden, and no one else's. So when he decides to leave, how will Sango react? She knows she loves him, but will she be able to tell him in time? Miroku must choose: act selfish and stay, leading Sango to her grave as well as his own? Or leave to die all by himself knowing he left Sango heartbroken?

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Chapter 1: Sango's Tears of Flight

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"Damn you, Naraku!" yelled Inuyasha, charging head-on with Tetsusiaga raised above his head. All his anger towards the filthy, scheming bastard was sapped into his words and gave him power. "WIND SCAR!" The attack flew through the air, slicing ground and atmosphere, but the instant before it hit, Kagura appeared in front of Naraku and directed the blow towards the wall of the castle. As wind came in contact with wood and stone, the building began to collapse into a smoking heap. Sango, who had been fighting back-to-back with Miroku, whistled for Kirara. The two-tailed cat demon's ear twitched and she stopped her attack to gallop over to them, with Sango, Miroku, and Shippo hopping on her back without a moment's hesitation. Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and flung her over his back before bounding out of the castle just in time. The ceiling collapsed, creating a large cloud of blackened soil that rose into the air, giving them limited vision. Soon the cloud dispersed, and everyone was able to catch a glimpse of a giant feather riding on the wind into the background. 

"Damn it…" said Inuyasha. "Damn it all! He got away again!" The angry hanyou punched the ground aimlessly as Kagome slid off his back.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Inuyasha," said Kagome gently, crouching down next to him. "This only proves that Naraku is a true coward. He was too afraid to face his fate."

"True enough," said Miroku's voice, with him, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara riding down from the sky on flames of red. "But we still have yet to kill him. When we do, all will be at peace." But something deep inside him told him otherwise. What if they didn't kill Naraku in time? Who was to say that he wouldn't lead his friends to their graves, sucking them into the abyss of his right palm along with himself? Inuyasha would never be able to avenge Kikyou's death, or confess his true love to Kagome. (tee hee hee…) Kagome's friends and family would mourn for her loss, in whatever weird way the people in her era mourned. Shippo's young life would be cut short, and Kirara would never ride on wind's fire again. And Sango… Miroku shook his head, trying to clear his mind. But a terrible vision came to his head…

His Wind Tunnel burst away from the prayer beads, and immediately began to swallow his arm. He watched in horror as Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, and Kirara were sucked into oblivion, screaming for their lives. Even those who he had no real attachment to were drawn in. Kouga, Kaede, Ginta, Hakkaku, Kohaku, Ayame, and innocent villagers were soon brought to their early graves. Then Sango stepped forth from the trees. He yelled at her to stay away from him, but she kept walking forward. Although, she really didn't need to walk, or even move for that matter, because the curse in his hand was already bringing her in. Then, Sango's face was gone. His Wind Tunnel slowly became bigger until all that was left of him was his torso and a giant hole in the ground. The last thing he heard was Naraku's insidious laughter that filled his mind, telling him he was a fool until—

"Miroku?" Sango's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Miroku looked around and realized that they had set out once again, and that he was drenched in sweat. "Miroku?" Sango called out to him again.

"Yes, my dear Sango?" he said cheerily, covering his gloom expression rapidly and wiping his forehead.

"Uh…" Sango stuttered. How Miroku's mood went from deep in malicious thought to his lecherous old self was beyond her. It almost creeped her out. "Nevermind."

"Of course, my beautiful maiden," Miroku's voice seemed normal, but there was something dark, something sinister cast over it. It was very slight, but Sango thought Miroku just wasn't himself. From the time they had left the broken, disintegrating castle, to setting up camp for the night, Miroku was completely silent. He hadn't even attempted to grope her! When Kagome asked him about it, he just put on a clearly fake smile and waved the question off. Sango started to worry. _This could be really serious!_ She thought. So, when Inuyasha and the others were fast asleep, Sango crawled over to the oblivious monk, who was staring intently at the stars. Once again, Miroku seemed locked away in his subconscious mind, shifting and sorting through his thoughts. Even when Sango had reached his side, Miroku was completely unaware of her intense gaze. This really got Sango on-edge. She slowly reached out to touch his shoulder, but stopped her arm in mid-air, for she felt that if she so much as brushed his shoulder, a giant earthquake would wreak havoc. It almost seemed as though he would shatter underneath her if she broke his thoughts. After mentally debating with herself, Sango gathered up her courage and gently touched Miroku's arm. He jumped, which caused her to withdraw her hand with alarm. Then Miroku turned his head to Sango's, his deep, purple eyes contemplating her light brown ones. Moments passed. Moments soon turned to seconds. Then seconds turned to minutes. After what seemed like years, Miroku finally spoke.

"Is something troubling you, Sango?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Miroku froze at Sango's words. She saw fear flicker across his face, and she soon spoke in a voice that was barely a whisper. "Please tell me."

Miroku's head snapped away from hers, obviously pained to speak. Sango knew this must have been an incredibly painful topic to make him react like that.

"Please, Miroku," Sango pleaded. "I have burdened you with many of my troubles. Please tell me yours. I am more than ready to listen." Miroku's eyes moved to his right palm momentarily, but flicked back to the stars when Sango followed his stare. "Is it something about your Wind Tunnel?" she had to summon her last ounce of courage to ask him.

Miroku turned his head back to hers. His eyes were shining with a film of tears, which startled Sango, for she had never seen him cry, not even in the many years she had known him. Miroku spoke in a voice that cracked and churned with emotion.

"The days are growing colder, Sango," he said. "And I fear I will not live to feel the warmth of the sun again." Pure worry shone through Sango's face. As Miroku went on, his voice became slightly steadier.

"By the end of the year, my Wind Tunnel will come of size where it will eventually swallow me whole." Sango gasped, and a tear fell from her face. "I must distance myself from all whom I care for before that time arrives."

"You don't mean…" Sango hiccupped. "You're leaving?"

"I must."

"But…" Sango's tears fell in sheets now, each shimmering droplet like a crystal in the twilight moon. "Y-you can't! We can kill Naraku before next year! You just can't go! _You just can't leave me here!_" Sango's tears of sadness turned to anger. How could he do this to her? She had stood beside him many times. How could he do this to her?

"I can to protect you," Miroku said quietly.

"Then are you just going to die alone?" Sango had to force her voice to do her bidding. "Is that what you want?"

Miroku paused a moment before answering. He seemed to be reminiscing a vision in his personal mind. "I would rather die alone than bring you with me."

Sango couldn't bear it. First her father and the demon slayers, then Kohaku, now Miroku! She stood up, tears still falling from her stained face, and began to run into the forest. Miroku stood up as well and made an attempt to stop her, but she only twisted away and kept running. With her tears blinding her vision, Sango nearly tripped over bushes or roots on many accounts, cutting her face on tree branches and soiling her face with risen dirt. Sango had no idea where she was going, nor did she care. She didn't want Miroku to see her like this; she didn't want him to realize her secret. Miroku could see right through her. After running along blindly for awhile, Sango's foot caught on an oversized root and she fell to the ground, crying in anguish and pain. She looked up and was surprised to see that it was, infact, the God Tree that she had stumbled upon. _Did I really run that far?_ Sango thought to herself, taking breaths between sobs. She knew they hadn't been too far from the village in the first place, but it was still a long distance to run. Then she looked down at her ankle, which was twisted in an awkward position, numb. Sango sighed heavily and laid her head back down, not even bothering to pick up her broken body. She fell asleep sprawled across the forest floor, with the wind whispering tales from the sky and the God Tree watching silently over the demon huntress.

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-sighs heavily- Phew, took me long enough! o.O This is onlymy second fanfic, I'm gettingbetter!Please review! 

-Thanks so much,

Ryuu


	2. Forgetting and Thinking

Disclaimer: NO, I do not own Inuyasha. I only own this fanfic. Sue me.

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All she knew at the moment was hurt. As she opened her eyes, all the pain from the night before came rushing in to greet her solitude with unending torture. Her ankle was numb, her head in confusion, and her heart was broken. She tried to recollect the activities of the previous night, but it all seemed like a big blur. The only thing clear enough for her to interpret was Miroku's sad face, eyes brimming with a film of tears. She attempted to sit up, but fell back down to the cold floor heavily and a flash of pain coursed through her head as she cried out in pain. As she lay there, whimpering like a child, Miroku's solemn face entered her mind once again. _What happened to me? Why is this image of Miroku's face tormenting me so?_ It hurt to think those things. Sango knew that it was partially because of her head, but there was another source of her anguish. Steadily and cautiously, she brought her hand up to her heart. She could hear the faint _thump_ of it, as well as it's beat against her bare hand, yet there was something amiss. Sango felt like there was a knot in her heart, like there was something she didn't want to let go or speak about. _Something…_

"Ah, you're finally awake, are ye?" Kaede's voice drifted through her mind. Sango quickly brought her hand back to her side as the old priestess came through the flap of her hut. Sango finally realized where she was.

"Kaede…" Sango's voice sounded like a knife had slit it.

"Yes, Sango?" said Kaede.

"What… happened?" Sango hoped she would tell, for she wished for knowledge of the past day.

"I was hoping you would tell me," Kaede spoke softly and Sango let out an exhausted sigh.

"I don't know…" Sango attempted to sit up again, and surprisingly succeeded. As she hunched her back over to prevent from falling backwards again, Kaede came and sat next to her.

"You poor child," Kaede's voice was like a mother's. "I wish I knew what ye had been through. The evil that has done this shall pay regrettably."

"Kaede, I don't remember a thing," Sango flinched a little as she tried to recall. Then her face brightened a little. "Actually… there is something…"

"What is it, my dear?"

"I don't…really know."

Kaede closed her eyes. "Your soul is speaking to you, child. Do not shut it out, open your mind to it with welcome. It will help."

"Well…" Sango paused. "I saw Miroku's face… he was--"

"Kaede!" She looked up to see Miroku run hurriedly through the flap. "Have you seen--" He stopped and stared at Sango's broken form. "Sango…" Kaede immediately knew there was some kind of conflict between them.

"Miroku, Sango is in a great deal of pain," Kaede put a hand on Sango's shoulder. "She cannot remember her actions. Do you, perhaps, know what occurred?"

Miroku did not answer. All he could do was gaze at the shattered demon huntress, every thought and every detail of last night flowing across his mind. _She doesn't… remember? _Miroku couldn't believe this. All that had happened, all that he had revealed to her, vanished? Or was it simply camouflaged and hidden from her, waiting for Sango's recovery and discovery? He racked his brain for answers. Then a thought ran through his head: _What if I helped her remember? What if I…_ Miroku threw the thought away immediatly. Sango would do better if she didn't know what had transpired between them. Yet, a part of him didn't want to leave her empty and confused. If he left without telling her, she would be heartbroken anyway, as well as lost. But if she remembered, it might be easier on her, even though it would be harder on him. _I don't care._ He thought. Miroku's final conclusion was to stay until Sango's memory had been recovered. He could tell her again, but… he just couldn't. He had told her once, which was painful enough, but to tell her again, to make her relive what had already happened… he just couldn't do it. _I could stay for…_

"Miroku," Kaede spoke to the wandering monk. Miroku then realized that he had started pacing and mumbling, so he stopped. He also noticed that Sango had passed out, for some bizarre, unknown reason. "Miroku, what have ye done to put Sango in this condition?" When Miroku, once again, didn't answer, Kaede sighed. "She says she cannot remember everything. Everything except you. She told me that all she could recollect was your crying face." Miroku felt so many emotions at one time flood through him when she said this, and each was surprisingly similar. Kaede noticed his sudden expression and stood up, walked to the exit, and motioned towards Miroku. "Come with me."

As they walked towards the forest, Miroku took advantage of Kaede's silence to ponder about his situation. _What will happen if I don't get Sango to remember in time? Should I just leave? Or should I wait for something to jolt her memory, even while putting her life on the line? I know not when the year ends._ While deep in thought, Miroku nearly crashed into two large trees and almost ran into Kaede once while trying to catch up.

"Miroku, do not let your mind wander this time," Kaede's voice was soft, but stern. "Pay attention. Ah, here we are." The weary priestess stopped in front of a large, oversized tree. It had a diamond-shaped scar in the middle and hundreds of branches and roots, and the tree's leaves seemed to whistle and hum when a breeze floated by. Miroku also noticed that one incredibly large root had specks of dry blood preserved on it, and the ground below was messed and shifted.

"Miroku, this is where one of the villagers found Sango, unconscious and wounded." Miroku blinked. "The God Tree is a very sacred tree, precious and beautiful. It seems to have a spirit of its own, and we respect it with passion. It was this tree, as ye may know, that my sister Kikyou bound Inuyasha to 53 years ago. And Kagome told me that, in her time, this tree was still thriving, and was the spot where her mother was proposed to. Now, another situation has rested itself on its branches. Something has transpired between ye two, but I do not know. That is why I brought ye here. The tree seems pure and holy, and it is here where many people come to pray for forgiveness of sins. I think it may assist you with speaking the truth."

Miroku felt a wave of satisfaction and pureness wash over him. It was almost as if Kaede's words had awoken the tree. He felt as though he could speak out all of his sins without remorse. Wanting to rid the feeling, Miroku told Kaede about what had happened. He told her about Naraku's escape, his conversation with Sango, her flight, and his finding and decision. All throughout his explanation, the old woman was silent, nodding and understanding the whole situation. When Miroku finally finished, she took a deep breath.

"Miroku, ye have analyzed your situation very well," Kaede looked him in the eye. "But you have forgotten one thing."

"What?" Miroku was certain he had gotten all the aspects possible.

"Imagine you are in Sango's position." Kaede began. "You have experienced heartbreak many times over, with family; Kohaku, your father, and the other demon slayers. Now, the last person closest to you tells you he is going to leave. What would be your first reaction?"

"Tears, of course."

"Aye, but what _action_?"

"Well…" Suddenly, Miroku understood. "I wouldn't be able to bear living anymore. I would have lost too many people in my life and wouldn't be able to bear it any longer."

Kaede nodded. "If you leave, she will most likely commit suicide. If you stay, you could bring her to the void. Either way, you both would die." Miroku bowed his head slightly, trying to hold the weight of his burden. "But… if you were to find Naraku and kill him in time… it would be a risk, but what to lose?"

"Kaede, should I… tell her?"

"About what, monk?"

"About what I told her awhile ago. After all, you said we have nothing to lose."

"Ah," Kaede closed her eyes momentarily. "I believe that you should let Sango remember on her own. Her memory is probably not buried deep." Miroku nodded. He stood up, took one last glance at the God Tree, and walked towards the village.

"Miroku, there is one other thing you should tell Sango," Miroku looked back over his shoulder to see Kaede's form standing as well, her back facing him. "Tell her your true feelings. It will ease her pain when she revives to clear her hazy mind. And after all," Miroku couldn't see her small smile. "What do you have to lose?" With that, Kaede strolled off into the forest, leaving Miroku alone with only silence to greet his goal…

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I'm so sorry, it took me forever to update! Thank you for being so patient, reviewers, and please keep those reviews coming! I have a feeling that this story will be better than my other one… Anyway, thanks again! 

-Ryuu


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